Shameless Read online

  Shameless

  Lex Martin

  Contents

  About The Novel

  Title

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  1. Brady

  2. Katherine

  3. Brady

  4. Katherine

  5. Brady

  6. Katherine

  7. Brady

  8. Katherine

  9. Brady

  10. Katherine

  11. Brady

  12. Katherine

  13. Katherine

  14. Brady

  15. Katherine

  16. Brady

  17. Brady

  18. Katherine

  19. Brady

  20. Katherine

  21. Brady

  22. Katherine

  23. Brady

  24. Brady

  25. Katherine

  26. Brady

  27. Katherine

  28. Brady

  29. Katherine

  30. Brady

  31. Katherine

  32. Brady

  33. Katherine

  34. Brady

  35. Katherine

  36. Brady

  37. Katherine

  38. Brady

  39. Katherine

  40. Brady

  41. Katherine

  42. Katherine

  43. Brady

  44. Katherine

  45. Brady

  46. Katherine

  47. Brady

  48. Katherine

  49. Brady

  50. Katherine

  51. Katherine

  52. Brady

  53. Katherine

  54. Brady

  55. Katherine

  56. Katherine

  57. Brady

  58. Katherine

  59. Katherine

  60. Katherine

  61. Brady

  62. Katherine

  63. Brady

  Epilogue

  To My Readers

  Finding Dandelion Synopsis

  Finding Dandelion Excerpt

  Acknowledgments

  CONTACT LEX

  About The Novel

  Brady…

  What the hell do I know about raising a baby? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing.

  Yet here I am, the sole guardian of my niece. I’d be lost if it weren’t for Katherine, the beautiful girl who seems to have all the answers. Katherine, who’s slowly finding her way into my cynical heart.

  I keep reminding myself that I can’t fall for someone when we don’t have a future. But telling myself this lie and believing it are two different things.

  Katherine…

  When Brady shows up on a Harley, looking like an avenging angel—six feet, three inches of chiseled muscle, eyes the color of wild sage, and sun-kissed skin emblazoned with tattoos—I’m not sure if I should fall at his feet or run like hell. Because if I tell him what happened the night his family died, he might hate me.

  What I don’t count on are the nights we spend together trying to forget the heartache that brought us here. I promise him it won’t mean anything, that I won’t fall in love.

  I shouldn’t make promises I can’t keep.

  Shameless Copyright © 2016 by Lex Martin

  All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced or transmitted in any capacity without written permission by the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This adult contemporary romance is recommended for readers 18+ due to mature content.

  Copy editing by RJ Locksley

  Proofreading by Amanda Maria

  Cover by Najla Qamber Designs

  Model Photographs by Perrywinkle Photography

  April 2016 edition

  ISBN 978-0-9915534-6-4

  Created with Vellum

  To Matt & my little bears

  “In that high place in the darkness the two oddly sensitive human atoms held each other tightly and waited.”

  - Sherwood Anderson

  1

  Brady

  Her slender hips sway to the heavy beat of the Arctic Monkeys pulsing through the speakers as she glides closer.

  “Gonna get naked for you,” she purrs, her shirt already hanging off her shoulder.

  What?

  “You only need to open your top and lower your bra.” I suppose I shouldn’t discourage her.

  She licks her lips and unfastens the clip in her hair, sending blond waves tumbling forward. But when she shakes it loose around her shoulders, a wave of industrial-strength perfume hits my nostrils. I try not to wince, but the scent is nauseating.

  Focus, Brady. Hot girl taking off her clothes. Eyes on the prize.

  I glance around, wondering how long it will take for the guys to notice she’s stripping out of her clothes like a pole dancer on a Saturday night. This girl is hot, so it’s not like I’m complaining.

  Might as well go out with a bang.

  Her fingers start the slow descent as she unbuttons her silky shirt, but then pause between her cleavage. “Kim Kardashian has the same outfit. She wore it the other day when she and Kanye dropped off little North West at...”

  Annnd right there, my interest plummets.

  Of course, my last night working here and I get Malibu Barbie. I’m half-wondering when she’s going to break out her phone for a selfie.

  Yanking on my gloves, I watch her unstrap the twins as my irritation builds.

  “We can pull the curtain closed.” I motion behind her to the partition I should’ve grabbed on the way in, but she shrugs with a grin and drops her bra.

  Okay then.

  When she slides into my chair, I lower the back so she’s reclining. I have to hold back a laugh when she thrusts her chest out.

  I don’t know why I think this is funny.

  Because you’re an asshole.

  “So, Chastity—” Yes, her name is Chastity. It’s always the ones with the wholesome names. “You want these piercings horizontal, correct?” I make the motion across in case she doesn’t know which direction I’m talking about.

  She nods and bats her eyelashes at me before she grabs her tits and pinches her nipples. “Do you want me to hold them up for you?”

  I almost choke on my gum. “No, that’s okay.”

  A flash of disappointment crosses her face, and I force a smile to counteract my fuck-off vibe. I don’t mean to be a jerk. I’m just exhausted. Working seventy hours a week landscaping while I moonlight here at the tattoo parlor will do that. So I try to reassure her. “You have ideal breasts for piercings.” Her eyes brighten, and she smiles back.

  It’s true, though. Her nipples are high and distended. Maybe a tad long if you ask me. Not like National Geographic tits or anything. Just a little pouty.

  Like someone’s been sucking on them.

  My dick finally rears up like someone rang a dinner bell.

  But then Chastity opens her mouth. “My sorority sisters dared me to do this. I couldn’t say no.”

  That’s a terrible reason. I just nod. It’s none of my business. But it’s enough to make my cock tap out. He should be interested. I haven’t been with anyone in a while, not even Gwen. But seeing Gwen takes time, time I don’t have.

  “Just relax. I’m marking the skin first,” I explain.

  Chastity takes a deep breath, but when I touch her breast, she lets out a little moan.

  I try not to laugh. This girl should not be turned on right now. Getting her tits pierced is going to hurt.


  After marking a dot on both sides of one nipple, I repeat the process with the other, the whole time ignoring the flush of red down her neck.

  I’m a dick for being amused by her obvious state of arousal. But she keeps opening her mouth. “I love that photo. Is she your girlfriend?” She motions toward the front of the tattoo parlor, where a larger-than-life image of me wrapped around a half-naked woman hangs on the wall.

  Jesus Christ. I hate that pic. How a favor for a friend in art school last winter became an image plastered all over Boston to advertise the Wicked Tattoo Parlor, I’ll never know.

  “No, that’s not my girlfriend.”

  The redhead in the photo, Dani, and I were always just friends. Someone I definitely hoped would be more than a friend, but things didn’t work out that way. In fact, the douchebag she’s engaged to was here last week getting a tat of Little Red Riding Hood—for her, no doubt. Fucker.

  But the experience taught me something important. That unless you find the perfect girl, putting yourself out there is pointless.

  My foul mood must be rubbing off, because by the time I aim the 14-gauge at nipple number two, Chastity is no longer interested in talking. Told you. Nipples and needles are no joke. But I have to admit I’m at a loss when the tears start.

  If there’s one thing I can’t handle, it’s a crying woman.

  I pat her shoulder. “You took it like a champ.”

  When I’m done explaining how to care for the piercings, I motion toward her. “Do you have any questions?”

  “Yeah, I do.” She licks her lower lip that’s stopped quivering. “Think you might have time later for a drink?”

  Bad idea.

  “Wish I could take you up on that, but my schedule’s pretty packed.” Not a lie. “Maybe some other time.” Or maybe not.

  Be nice, man.

  I force myself to smile. “If you decide to get a tattoo, I’ll draw something for you.” Piercing helps pay the bills. Tats are what I love.

  Her eyes brighten, and she nods.

  I turn away before I let something rude slip. Because when I’m this exhausted, I have one mode—asshole—and I don’t want to treat this girl that way. Or any girl for that matter.

  That's why I’m better off alone right now. Flying solo seems to be the only thing I have time for.

  In between clients, I text my father an update on the Jackson property. He responds immediately. Great job, son! Can’t thank you enough.

  No thanks needed, my thumbs tap out.

  I stare at the screen, hoping we’re done and he doesn’t launch into another round of apologies, apologies that aren’t his to make.

  Part of me feels guilty about not wanting to run my father’s landscaping company. But this was supposed to be temporary. Just until my brother Cal returned and he took over for my dad, who had a heart attack.

  My jaw tightens.

  Cal’s down in Texas, kicking back with his new wife—the one he eloped with after knowing two weeks—and their baby. Ironically, he was down there taking courses I paid for so he could return to Boston and take over our family’s company, but he got sidetracked when some chick tripped over his dick. How else do you have a baby nine months later?

  I should be over it by now. Cal’s kid is a year old, and the writing is on the wall. He’s not coming back. But my parents keep holding out hope. They’re afraid he’ll get bored down there like he gets bored with everything. And in the time they’ve held off selling their business and retiring, they lost a great offer on the company and my father’s health has gone to shit.

  As the night wears on, every time I flip on the ink gun, that staccato buzz heightens my awareness of the clock and builds a slow dread in my chest. It should be a relief to have one less thing to worry about. Except this is the part I love. This is the part that actually feels right when I’m not in such a piss-poor mood.

  But I can’t keep doing this to myself. Running half a dozen crews on my father’s landscaping business and tattooing all night will put me in an early grave.

  Chugging down some coffee, I nod toward the dude in my chair. He points to his bicep where I’ve already transferred a drawing of a pair of oars. “I’m rowing for BU in the fall,” he says proudly.

  Mustering a smile, I tell him congrats and then focus on the lines I etch into his skin.

  We get a lot of college kids in here. I used to enjoy hearing their stories and understanding the meaning behind the symbols I inked on them. Hell, I used to be one of those BU kids.

  But now it’s tough to stomach the optimism in their voices. It’s a reminder that I was a dumb asshole for getting my master’s in art. For not going to law school. For not studying something that could’ve bailed my parents out of their financial crisis.

  For thinking like a dreamer.

  After my last client, I remove the key from my key ring and hand it to Rudy.

  “You always got a place here, man,” he says, leaning forward for a bro-hug.

  I grumble a thanks and a farewell, knowing full well my spot will be filled by the end of next week, as will the opportunity to partner with him on the new shop.

  The whole drive home, it eats at me, missing these opportunities. But there’s no one to complain to, and even if there was, there’s nothing to say. I’ve made my decision.

  The sound of my keys echoes in the dark apartment. I toe off my work boots, caking the floor in mud, but my roommate is probably over at his girlfriend’s, so he’s not here to bitch about it.

  I’m yawning and so tired, I’m a little nauseous. As I head for my bedroom, I reach for my phone in the back pocket of my jeans to set an alarm. Cal’s message flashes on the screen: I need to talk to you. I have some news. Stop being a cock.

  My temple throbs.

  It’s two a.m. here, which means it’s only one in Texas. He might be up. But can I really deal with talking about this shit right now? I’ve been up since five this morning when I hauled my ass to the Jackson property.

  Scrubbing my face with my palms, I groan.

  I’ll say something I’ll regret if I have that conversation tonight. I’ll call him tomorrow or next week or whatever.

  With labored movement, I strip out of my jeans and t-shirt, and my muscles scream in protest when I stretch out in bed.

  It feels like I’ve barely fallen asleep when the phone rings. I fumble for it and answer in a daze. The voice sounds a million miles away.

  I shake my head and sit up.

  “Brady? Did you h… h… hear me?” My mother’s voice warbles over the phone in between sobs.

  I blink several times. My heart thunders in my chest, tripping over itself in an erratic beat. Rubbing my eyes hard, I try to wake up. She says it again.

  What? No, that’s just…

  A numbness spreads through all of my limbs.

  My stomach clenches as she wails the words that gut me. “C… C… Cal is dead. Oh, my God. Cal is dead!”

  As I heave into the trash, that conversation with my mom races through my mind. Because when I told her to hang tight, that I was coming to see her, she drop-kicked me with something else. That upon learning the news that my brother, his wife Melissa, and their baby Isabella died in a freak car accident, my father had a heart attack and is in intensive care.

  I close my eyes and force myself to breathe through the fear of losing my father. Through the regret and guilt of how I treated Cal. Through the shame.

  The moment registers like the event horizon of a black hole, yawning before me like an abyss.

  “Sir, are you okay?” a nurse asks me as I heave into the trash for the third time.

  I wave her off, shivering when a cold sweat breaks out along my back and neck.

  Cal is gone. My baby brother is dead.

  Why didn’t I call him back? Why couldn’t I get my head out of my ass? I don’t know the details of the accident, but I can’t help but wonder if anything would’ve been different if I’d just picked up the goddamn phone. Would it
have saved them somehow? Could it have kept them home?

  A chilling thought grips me. Was the accident my fault?

  The loss of my brother reverberates through me until dry heaves upend my stomach and make me contemplate curling up on the filthy hospital floor.

  By the time I reach the hospital room I’m pretty sure I’ve puked out my spleen, but the sight of my unconscious father with tubes sticking out of him makes me ignore my own misery.

  My mother turns to me. Behind those puffy eyes, I see a flicker of relief. She’s hovering over my father, who is pale and hauntingly still. In three long strides I’m by her side, and I tuck her against me where she cries quietly.

  “I’m here, Mom,” I whisper into her hair.

  I inhale her rose perfume, which reminds me of family dinners and laughter and love. Closing my eyes, all I can see is my little brother’s face. That grin he’d give me when he broke my stuff. His light blue eyes that crinkled when he laughed. That mess of sandy brown hair he could never tame.

  And God, the weight of not being there for him is crushing.

  I grip my mom tighter. Her tears soak my shirt, and I hold her until her sobs still to whimpers.

  Once she’s calmed down, we sit by my father’s bed, and she wraps an icy hand around mine. Her lower lip quivers as she smiles sadly toward the bed. “I… I can’t leave him. The doctor wants to do the surgery as soon as possible, tomorrow or the day after. I can’t leave your father…” She starts to sob again. “But I want to be there for my baby.” She always thinks of Cal as her baby even though he’s twenty-five.

  Was twenty-five.

  Goddamn it.

  “Mom, what needs to be done in Texas?” I ask gently.

  She shudders, and I wrap an arm around her. “I don’t even know,” she whispers. The tears start again, and I realize there are funerals to plan. Belongings to pack up. Legal issues to address.

  “Did Melissa have any family?”

  My mom hiccups. “Probably. They should get the farm. It was... it was her father’s before he passed. Or her uncle’s or something. Melissa’s friend is there now. Kate or Katherine or maybe it’s Sandra? But she’s watching the property.”